Consent is sexy, just ask a Dominatrix
When people think of consent, they don't necessarily think of sexy - but that's all about to change.
Speaking about consent, Dominatrix Mistress Velvet told Refinary29 that there's no reason people can't shake up the way people view consent.
In both Mistress Velvet’s work and personal life, she’s a huge proponent of affirmative consent, meaning that you should be asking for a verbal "yes" at every step (from kissing to caressing to penetration) of intimate and sexual encounters. "Just because someone let you put your hands up their shirt, doesn't mean that they want you to put your hands down their pants," she shared with the publication.
The idea of gaining consent being a 'mood killer' frustrates Mistress Velvet, and she points out that it's 100% possible to ask for consent while keeping the sexy mood alive — in fact, consent can heighten the erotic energy in sexual exchanges in ways you might not expect she explains. She highlights that asking a question such as “Can I kiss you?” isn’t a mood killer, rather it’s an important step for intimacy to continue in a way that confirms everyone is on the same page, comfortable, and safe. Velvet says you can also get creative with how you say it by lowering your voice or throwing some sexy eyes your partner’s way. As long as you remain clear and give the person you’re being intimate with the space to object or say “no,” asking for consent shouldn’t be any different from other communication during intimacy.
At the end of the day, there's nothing sexier than communicating with your partner and ensuring that any intimate experience is pleasurable for both of you. So, now we've established that consent is sexy, go out there and obtain it - for whatever tickles your fancy.
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