Why it's important to look after yourself

It might seem like a no brainer - but looking after yourself when you're in the dating game, is one of the most important things you can do when trying to find someone special. Because at the end of the day, people make judgments based on first impressions. And one of the first things that a potential love interest will see is how you treat yourself.

It sends a clear message to them.

If you look after yourself - then you have a good level of self-esteem.

And self-confidence is a very attractive quality.

Now of course this can be seen in terms of how you dress, your overall appearance and level of grooming. But there are also a number of other very important ways in which a potential love interest will gauge how well you look after yourself.

Consider the amount you drink. If you're a person who likes to binge drink when you're out with someone, then it suggests that you're someone who is currently in a self-destructive mode.

Your commitment to living a healthy lifestyle is also another indication of how you treat yourself. Do you exercise on a regular basis, are you a smoker, do you take drugs, are you following a good diet and how much sleep do you get? All of these factors will tell someone how much you care about yourself.

Another key thing to think about is how you talk about yourself. One of the tell-tale signs that you're not looking after yourself is the way in which you talk about you to others in public. If you tend to put yourself down, focus on your flaws and mistakes, have a very negative attitude about the future and your chances of ever being happy, and dismiss compliments and positives - then chances are you're not good at being kind to yourself. Instead, your default position is to get critical and beat yourself up to anyone who's listening.

So take a moment and think about what signal you're sending out to other singles. Do they say that you look after yourself well and are in a happy place mentally or does it tell them that you're in a self-destructive mode and it's better to keep away?

John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship expert, as seen on the hit show Married At First Sight, and on Ch 9’s Today show, Today Extra and A Current Affair. He is a best-selling author, regularly appears on radio and in magazines, runs a private practice in Sydney, and is a sought after speaker. (www.johnaiken.com.au)

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