The keys to a good chat – how to win over a potential date with words?

Looks can certainly be very important when making a good first impression with your new online date. RSVP have found that an online profile will get 11 times more interest than one with no photo – so your appearance matters. However, once you’re standing face to face with your new love interest, it’s your ability to chat that’s going to really make a difference.

So what do you need to do when you have to break the ice and create great chat with your new love interest? Follow these tips and you should be able to win over your date with the power of your words: 1) Ask questions The first way to create good chat is to remember the simple rule – people love to talk about themselves. So be prepared to ask questions to your new date and show them that you’re interested in them and you care about who they are and what they do. 2) Listen High quality conversation requires lots of good listening. There’s no point in asking questions if you’re not going to give your date the chance to answer them. So really pay attention to what is being said and give them the opportunity to share personal details. 3) Don’t interrupt I realise that when you’re talking to a new love interest that you might get overly excited and jump in over the top when they’re talking. Regardless of how tempting this may be, don’t interrupt them. Give them the chance to finish what they’re saying, and be patient. You’ll have plenty of time to say your piece. 4) Give eye-contact Conversation is made so much easier when you’re looking directly at your new date. Eye contact is a great way to show your partner that you’re interested in them and focused on every word they’re saying. It will make them feel connected and special. 5) Forget your phone Technology can be a major obstacle to making a strong connection with your romantic partner. There’s nothing worse than trying to talk to your date when they’re focused on their phone. So switch it to silent and do not answer it or look at it while you’re talking to your love interest. 6) Avoid oversharing It’s certainly important to give some information about yourself when you’re talking to your new date. It’s shows that you have depth and makes you more human. However, don’t go overboard with sharing personal details. Stay away from discussing deep seated feelings, past distressing events in your upbringing, or messy and painful break-ups. This will likely come across as being too intense and will likely scare your new date away.

John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship psychologist, as seen on the hit show Married At First Sight, and on Ch 9’s Today show, Today Extra and A Current Affair. He is a best-selling author, regularly appears on radio and in magazines, runs a private practice in Sydney, and is a sought after speaker. (

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