Downing Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain while running to your next hot date is all cute in the steamy months; but come winter, icy cocktails and soggy sandals are a recipe for discontent. Cuffing Season, Hiber-Dating – call it whatever tickles your fancy. People love shacking up with a significant other during the colder months.
What once was a bona fide search for a significant other has taken a *slightly* less permanent turn in recent years. Cuffing Season has the sole purpose of finding someone (read: anyone) that will sit with you through a Game of Thrones box set marathon, while eating takeaway Pad See Ew and only judging you a little bit for wearing track pants and ugg boots for a solid four months. Come Spring, that snuggly, part-time lover will be hitting the singles scene again with a vengeance.
So, what’s the check list for a Winter Cling? And how do you know if you've been Cuffed?
1. Is your date slightly more voluptuous than you?
This one is a sheer matter of survival. They’ve got the body warmth to reduce your electricity bill and double as a mobile heater. It also means you've got leeway if (read: when) you pack on the winter kilos. You’ll still be slimmer – lighter in weight and lighter in guilt when you go for a second serve of the Sunday roast.
2. Do they have a U.S. Netflix account?
Sneaky, techy and slightly bad-ass. Your date has the know-how to do (semi) naughty things with The Internet, and you reap all the rewards! The world knows that Netflix has been keeping all the good stuff from us Aussies in an alternate season / country / universe. This is your chance to snuggle up to your new arm pillow while watching The Walking Dead. On repeat.
3. Does your date have a fireplace?
Be like the movies! Snuggling in front of a crackling fire is just the greatest. Lowering your standards has never felt so good!
4. Do you grocery shop together?
No shame? No worries! The most beautiful part of the Winter Cling is that your awkward factor is zero! Where traditionally you wouldn't dream of driving top-speed into domesticity, the Winter Cling circumnavigates that zone and takes a detour straight to the Leggos stir-through pasta sauce aisle. Take your Summer Fling to Thomas Dux Fine Grocers and About Life organic living, Winter Clings are all about Woolies, Coles and whichever supermarket has a sale on potatoes and 1kg blocks of cheese.
Love it or hate it, the Winter Cling is a thing. Given us Antipodean folk are headed for icy times, consider yourself on the front foot with this trend.
We first had a laugh about Winter Clings in this College Humour skit – but be warned, there’s a bit of crass humour and language ahead!
What are your thoughts on Winter Clings vs. Summer Flings? Are they a real thing, and have you been Cuffed or Cuffing before?