WikiHow - How to Get a Date

WikiHow…how did we live before your time?! Thank you for allowing us to bask in your glory. Bow down to the guiding force of dating in the universe friends, as WikiHow has step by step instructions for scoring a date! This three-part series is probably the best How-to Guide we’ve read since IKEA instructions out of context.

Part 1 – Starting a Conversation

1.1 Don’t ask for a Date immediately, start by asking a simple question or favour first. Asking a favour first results in about a 15% chance of the person agreeing to a date. Asking directly for a date has only a 3% chance that the person will say yes.

Of course WikiHow! Talking to someone is an awesome idea before launching in for the Big Question. At first I thought those stats seemed a little shady, but I guess you’re right, WikiHow, and I’m just not in that lucky 3% of people that scored a date when I asked a COMPLETE RANDOM out on a date that time.

P.S. What favour did your male model ask of his lady friend in the image below… the question that apparently ruled out birthday cake and a cabaret show, and caused mild indigestion and a bad dose of pink eye?

1.2 Say Something Positive. For example, if you are in a supermarket, you might comment about how tasty something looks and ask if they have tried it.

“Look at that kiwifruit. What I’d do to get my mouth around that. Mmmm. Looks tasty. You tried it?” WikiHow - I’m not one to dispute your guidance, but I’m quietly nervous about this one in practice. Should I follow it with your suggested ‘Ok!’ hand gesture to mitigate the potential creep-factor?

Part 2 – Showing Interest

2.1 Use the right body language, wear the right colours. Occasionally you can tip your head to the side to show interest. Smile. Stand closer than you normally would to someone you aren’t interested in. Make eye contact.

WikiHow, this is starting to feel a bit weird. I’ll accept that I’m not ready for the Positive Fruit Commentary, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever be, but showing interest shouldn’t be this hard, should it? I think your mate in the picture below is a tad overwhelmed by the amount of things he has to remember just to show a bird he’s keen. Pretty sure he just got hives on his right forearm and is about to start flippin’ tables he’s so stressed.

Part 3 – Asking For The Date

3.1 Frame the date as their own idea. Explain the benefits, the other person will be more likely to agree to the date.

I’ve only ever seen this work for Ryan Gosling and George Clooney in light-hearted rom-coms set in Venice…and they had a speed boat and a Rolex. What ever happened to “ask your date thoughtful questions”? Have I missed a chapter in the Dating Handbook? Have I been reading an early print edition all this time?

Ok WikiHow, I think I’m going to take your advice with a grain of salt while taking my own conversation starters back off the shelf. If you’re feeling a tad dusty in the dating scene, check out our "Advice" section.

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