How much is too much? Sharing your new relationship on social media

Social media is now a key part of any new relationship. It allows you to stay in contact with your partner, organize events and catch-ups, post pictures and express thoughts and feelings towards each other. It should be a vehicle that enhances your relationship and brings you closer - but this isn't always the case. Sometimes over sharing on social media can be your downfall as a couple.

The reason why social media can become a real issue lies in the fact that it opens up your relationship to the world. Friends, family, acquaintances and strangers can follow what's happening to you as a couple and give you feedback (both positive and negative) on what you're up to. The more you share, the more you involve others in your relationship. This can be de-stabilising for you both and can create stress, insecurity, embarrassment and arguments. If you want to protect your relationship - you need to agree on boundaries around social media. There must be a line drawn between what you do and don't want to put out there to the masses. It's like having a meddling mother-in law. You can tell her some things about your relationship - but definitely not all things. So here are 10 key tips to prevent you from over sharing on social media:

  1. Have a couple agreement in place about your social media use

  2. Keep your deepest gushing feelings to just the two of you

  3. Avoid posting compromising photos (e.g. naked, binge drinking etc)

  4. Don't air your arguments - even in jest

  5. Avoid giving out personal details (address, phone number etc)

  6. Keep clear of sexualized talk

  7. Don't give out secrets

  8. Hold back on sharing just for the sake of sharing (non-interesting/ irrelevant posts and tweets)

  9. Never make fun or belittle your partner in your posts

  10. If in any doubt - ask your partner first before sharing anything!

John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship expert, as seen on Ch 9's series Married At First Sight, and the ABC doco Making Couples Happy. He is also the author of the book Making Couples Happy: How science can help get relationships back on track (

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