Do you ever get that sinking feeling that you are more infatuated with your partner than they are with you? Don’t worry, in most cases we all feel this way, but it's generally not a fact rather its underlying psychology.
According to Psychological Science, a journal of the Association for Psychological Science, a process called ‘meta-perception’ is always at play in human interactions, long-standing or otherwise. But what is ‘meta-perception’ you ask? It's the way that we try and understand how people feel about us. Basically, this is the process that is trying to ascertain if we think others find us boring, interesting, hot or not. A recent study into this thought pattern has found that this is not as simple as we think it is, and humans are actually really bad at judging such perceptions.
The study analysed the conversations of people in different stages of relationships. One phase looked at the conversations of people who just met, and another examined longer conversations of strangers and another assessed the interactions of roommates over several months and all showed that people on average thought they liked their partner more than they liked them. Starting to sound familiar? The study then coined another phrase called the ‘liking gap’ to explain the phenomena of most people not being able to accurately utilise meta-perception AKA read the signs about how much people like them.
So what does all this mean? Well, two things really. It’s interesting because humans generally have a pretty good perception of where they stand in say an office environment but it seems to fall down there. More importantly, it means that the next time you start to doubt if someone likes you, try and remember it’s just your brain misreading the signals. Try and read what’s right in front of you. Are they looking into your eyes? Do you have positive body language? Are they deciding to spend their valuable time in talking to you? All good signs, particularly if you’re on a first date.
So get out there, lift your head up high and remember your brain is tricking you. It’s likely the person chatting to you likes you, so don’t let your self-doubts get in the way.
Do you doubt yourself in conversation? What are your tips for getting over it? Tell us below: