Women are faking it and men (still) aren't noticing

In a turn of events that may come as little surprise to 50% of the population, many women are still faking their enjoyment in the bedroom, and their husbands are none the wiser. 

 

This earth-shattering revelation has come from a recent study conducted by the Brigham Young University in Utah, which found that almost half of men have no idea how often their wives achieve orgasm during sex.

 

The research looked at the sex lives of 3,200 heterosexual newly-weds, and when the men were asked to estimate how often their significant others reached the 'Big  O', 43% were wrong. Making it the second time they'd missed the mark that week (see what I did there?). 

 

This study also uncovered that more than one in five women achieve orgasm less than four in ten of their sexual encounters, with just three per cent of men having a less than happy ending this infrequently. Meaning that women aren't just dealing with a pay gap, but an orgasm gap as well.

 

 

When it comes to why women are choosing to fake it, a study in 2014 which created the 'Faking Orgasm Scale for Women', split the motives for faking it into four factors: To get sex to finish; to increase their own arousal; to avoid “fear and insecurity” that they can’t achieve orgasm; and – most commonly – to avoid hurting their partner’s feelings. 

 

Speaking with The Guardian, Kate Moyle, a psychosexual and couples therapist said that it's not uncommon for women to struggle to achieve orgasm. “All the emphasis is around intercourse and less around clitoral stimulation. We are now getting a better education around that.”

 

She added that faking orgasms, while it may feel like the right thing at the time, can actually be more harmful to your relationship than helpful. 

 

“If you start faking orgasms, you may feel the need to continue it and it puts up a wall in terms of communication about what feels good and what doesn’t. The female partner may feel: ‘I can’t tell him I haven’t had an orgasm and he needs to do something different,’ and he thinks she’s having a good time and he doesn’t need to do anything differently.”

 

So while in some circumstances 'faking it until you make it' is encouraged, we believe it's best you leave that mentally outside of the bedroom.

 

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