We’ve all read this article before: “Top tips for keeping your sex life spicey”. Okay, the headline was most likely different, but the subject matter was the same. For most people, their sex lives are incredibly important, hence why they are constantly seeking advice on the subject. Well to get an answer to the age-old question of how to have a great sex life once and for all, researchers combed 64 academic articles (they were five articles short) on sexual desire and recorded the reoccurring points to form a “model of maintaining sexual desire in long-term relationships”.
Out of the study, several traits were identified as the keys to a healthy sex life, and some may even surprise you.
First things first - the review said to keep expectations realistic. The study noted that it’s important to understand that as a relationship progresses, it’s not out of the ordinary for desire and sexual frequency to both increase and decrease depending upon life circumstances.
However, it did note that the below can go a long way to making sure your sex life stays on the right trajectory.
Nurture mutual attraction - The study showed that it's important for partners to both feel attractive and be attracted to their significant others. But what does this mean? Well, emotionally, confidence and attentiveness factor most into feeling an attraction. While, proper diet and exercise, grooming, and clothing choices can foster physical attractiveness. So the moral of the story is a little self-love can go a long way to boosting your sex life.
Maintain autonomy - According to the findings, it's important to not be too attached to your partner. Adding that couples should engage in social activities without their partners. So, join a sports team solo, go on a girls night, whatever you do - it’s important to keep your own identity outside of the relationship.
Manage stress and fatigue - This is a big one. Try your best to get adequate sleep, exercise regularly, and maintain a healthy work-life balance - your sex drive will thank you. Obviously, sometimes, stress and fatigue cannot be avoided, so it's important to talk to your partner and be understanding of each other's situation.
Be responsive to your partner - The key to this point is to invest in both the emotional and physical relationship with your partner. Respond to your partner in a timely fashion and be attentive to their requests. When it comes to sex, the report says to put in the effort for your partner. This is one activity where it's definitely not a race to the finish.
Communicate - This point is really key. Communication, or rather, a lack thereof, underlies most relationship problems. Speaking openly and honestly with your partner about sexual wishes or problems is necessary to maintain desire.
Be egalitarian - Okay I’m pretty sure this one should be a total no-brainer, but here we are. Studies show that sharing responsibilities like chores, childcare, and earning income is linked to higher levels of sexual desire. So let’s get to taking out that trash!
What do you think of these tips - tell us below!