An open letter to the EU and UK post apocaBrexit.

DateHub Relationship Advice for both sides of a very public split.

 

UK; you’re now as single as a Pringle.  We know you're doubting yourself, but this was what you wanted. You made a choice and now you have to follow through. #Bregret

 

Europe; resist the urge to drunk text the UK.  No amount of Heineken is going to make this feel better. 

 

Both sides of a break-up are ugly and for the most part difficult for everyone involved.  Especially when you date someone in your apartment block.  UK, you’re probably going to bump into the EU when you’re popping down to Tesco’s or negotiating import taxes, but there’s a right way and a very wrong way to go about life post-break up. 

 

The signs that the UK weren’t fully committed were there for a while, EU. You fought publicly. They didn't really like your family.  Especially when they stayed for extended periods.  You weren't even in their favourites list. 

 

 

THINGS THE EU MIGHT BE DOING POST-BREAK UP

 

 

Everyone should be watching out for our recently dumped mate, EU.  Here are some of the classic break-up things that the EU might doing right now. 

 

  • Creating a break up playlist, with titles like FEELINGS or SAD.  We’d suggest avoiding Coldplay, Sting and Adele.  

 

  • Purging everything that reminds them of their former flame, including their citizens.

 

  • Booking a holiday - probably not in the UK, though.

 

  • Posting hot selfies.  UK, you’re never going to trade up on a European summer.  You were batting above your weight there.

 

 

UK; as the instigator of the break-up, here are our pro-tips for handling it like the classy lady you are.

 

  • Avoid blame.  Ok, you didn’t exactly nail this one, but there’s still room for improvement here!  There may have been some finger pointing in the heat of the moment, but you’re as cool as a pickled cucumber sandwich now.  Move forward with dignity.

 

  • Be honest.  The EU has a lot of questions for you right now.  They’ve even demanded all of their mates to stop talking to you until they have answers.

 

  • Be flexible.  They’re not going to let you cherry-pick which Tupperware you get to keep and choose the moving out date.   In hindsight, we should have told you earlier to have a steady exit plan pre - break up.

 

  • Be considerate on social media.  The EU doesn't need to see you cuddling back up to the Commonwealth.

 

Break-ups are rarely easy, but they can be dignified.   We doubt that either of you will be courting again anytime soon, but hopefully you can both take something from this.  When you’re ready to put yourself back out there again, we have some great first date ideas on DateHub! 

 

 

Best Regards,

 

Your friends at DateHub.

 

 

Image source: wikimedia.org

 

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