Is it ok to date more than one person?

One of the many advantages of going online to find a relationship is that you have the opportunity to meet a large number of like-minded singles. Rather than wandering around from bar to bar trying to strike up a conversation with a potential love interest - you can go online and connect with a number of singles.

 

But with this choice and flexibility comes a question - is it OK to be dating more than one person at a time?

 

 

There are certainly no hard and fast rules on this. In the end, it will come down to your own individual approach to dating and your moral compass. 

 

For some of you, it will be natural to date as many different people as you can while you're in the process of getting to know them. For others, it will feel more comfortable focusing on one love interest at a time, and keeping things uncomplicated.

 

Messaging, texting, emailing and making phone calls are all straightforward ways to get other singles engaged. From there, you can organise first dates and then meet up at cafes, bars, clubs and restaurants. At this stage, there's definitely no harm in dating a number of different people. 

However, where things tend to go wrong, is if you decide to sleep with several of these new love interests that you're dating. This is where I think you need to draw the line. 

 

Dating and getting to know numerous singles can be healthy - sleeping with a number of them all at the same time will typically create heartache, confusion and anger. 

 

Instead, I would encourage you to keep things simple when it comes to getting physical.  By all means get to know different people and have fun - but keep the sex out of it in the early stages. As you start to learn more about your potential love interests, you can begin to consider if you want to take it to the next level with exclusivity. As you get clearer about this, you can then move things forward with someone and have no ongoing complicated sexual ties with other singles.  You'll find it less awkward and stressful, and the person you decide to be with long-term will be happy you waited to be exclusive with them over all the others.

 

John Aiken, RSVP dating and relationship expert, as seen on Ch 9's series Married At First Sight, and the ABC doco Making Couples Happy. He is also the author of the book Making Couples Happy: How science can help get relationships back on track (www.johnaiken.com.au)

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